A child without boundaries becomes...

I have just read some disturbing and devastating news. After following closely any news on the disappearance of a young woman called Gillian Meagher from a city suburb not far from where I live, where I go and have friends, the newspaper told me her body was found after they arrested a man who is charged with her rape and murder.

I was thinking of her all last night, as I sat in a park with a friend watching her kids play in the rosy setting sun, as I enjoyed a warm spring evening with my husband on a little bench in the dark sharing a milkshake, admiring the halo around the moon. I was thinking of where she might be, hoping she was ok. She was not.

I was having such a lovely evening. Scrap that, I am having such a lovely life. Imagine someone just putting a stop to that because they felt an urge. I have walked home, in the middle of the night, by myself, so many times. Through the Fitzroy Gardens at age 19. Granted, I don't drink so I was always fully wary and on guard, but still, I am not sure I could have warded off anyone who was intent of harming me. Once again it is well and truly obvious it could happen to anyone. That could have been me. I could have been dead, right now. No warm spring evening enjoying life.

It infuriates me that there are people in this world, and it is a statistic that these people are mostly men, who think it is ok for them to treat another person as if they are theirs to use as they please. It is NEVER ok. That they can use their physical power to take what they want from another person, including their life. It makes me feel so sick and sad.

Those people, those rapists and murders, have come to the conclusion that they can use other people to release their urges, have somehow learned throughout their life that to rape and murder is an option. Those rapists and murderers were innocent children once, but somewhere in their growing up, they have been shown that they can do evil and get away with it. Who was guiding these people? Who was teaching these people? How are there still people in this world who have so little guidance in their youth that they become adults who can even consider harming another, taking another's person's life?

In the end it comes down to respect, doesn't it? Respecting other people's lives, their bodies, their freedom. You can only do this when you have been taught to respect, and received respect as a child, as a young adult. But because respect is such an abstract term, it can be hard to teach.

There are lines that are crossed unnoticeably. Children try push their boundaries constantly. How far can I go, before I get told off? I am afraid that this is what happens with people who do harm to others. I assume it starts small, maybe they will try to just touch a woman inappropriately and find that nothing happens after. Their life continues on just as normal. The woman doesn't press charges, possibly because the woman thinks she might not be believed or somehow might have given him the impression she was into it. Line crossed. So many lines crossed. What was the line? Is saying the word 'No' a line? What if she just thinks 'No'? What if his hand is over her mouth and she doesn't get to say 'No'?

Respect is about knowing those lines, I guess. And what happens to those who received no respect as a child - how are they going to grow up and be respecting adults? I daresay that the man who raped and killed Jill did not grow up a happy and respectful child.

So here's what I think. We need to teach all children to respect everyone. Other kids, their parents, their siblings, their pets, even their belongings. Have you ever seen a kid hit their parent/carer? I have, so very often. There is an age, around two to three, where there is a lot of frustration in a toddler's life and they will quickly resort to violence. One of the children I am looking after is going through that stage at the moment and I am very firm when it comes to hitting. No, it doesn't hurt me when they hit me. But it is simply not the way to deal with your frustration, so I try to explain firmly and calmly that when they hit, they will not get what they want, and are most likely going to achieve the opposite of what they want, for example to be sent to the naughty spot. There is a line. I am teaching a line. I am teaching a rule. I am teaching a worldwide law on a small scale:  If you use violence, you will be confined.

The man who raped and killed Jill will go to prison. And then what? He might not be able to do it again for a long time. He might choose in the meantime to not do it again. But what about the people walking around free with in their heads the thoughts forming that they can act upon any urge they might have?

Murder and rape have been around as long as humans. Why? How have we as yet failed to get rid of these ugly parts of our society? It's a worrying thought. No, installing extra CCTV cameras is not going to solve the problem. The problem lies with kids not being taught to respect lines that should not be crossed. And that should be something we can change, right?

So for now, I'm going to keep teaching boundaries. It's my little way of trying to make sure that all the kids I have a part in raising become respectful adults. It's a small thing, but it's something.

My heartfelt condolences to Jill's family and friends. I am so sorry your Jill was not safe in our society to walk home on a Saturday morning when so many other women did the same thing and made it there safely. It is not fair and it is not right.

The very mature girl

Sorry it's been a while since my last post, I have been indulging in a bit of sewing in my studio, I'm working on a new handbag that will have a safe and padded pocket for my iPad...my new favourite toy. I have also been a little bit sick and a little bit sad because our poor old family cat, who lived with my mother in the Netherlands, had unfortunately be put down. She's had a long and loved life for a cat, though, and she wasn't a happy cat anymore by the end of her life.

Anyway. Here's back to my blogging. It occurred to me today that I always prefer to be referred to as a 'girl', rather than a 'lady' or a 'woman'. I have the problem that I feel younger than I am, in so many ways. I have a dislike for all the responsibility that comes with being nearly 32, which is not to say that I don't take responsibility. I am an extremely responsible person, I am just easily overwhelmed and exhausted by the responsibility that comes with being a full-fledged adult. I have only just come to realise that I am no longer a young adult. I am an adult adult now. But I just don't feel that way.

I still have quite a child-like view on the world, which is why children like me so much. I have a sense of humour that appeals to most kids, and an imagination fit for a child. I like it that way. I know my husband is endeared and amused by my occasional needs to pretend to be a penguin (I do a very good penguin impersonation) or blame Om Nom (see green creature in pic below) for eating all the biscuits/chocolates in the house.

My last Valentine's day haul courtesy of my hubby

I am a light-hearted person, who thinks bruises are pretty and has a fascination with small cute creatures, in particular owls and squirrels. I like monsters too (as long as they're cute). I like riding bikes, climbing trees and building cubbies. I love Lego.

I wear sensible shoes, and no make-up, most of the time anyway. I do like to dress up when there's reason to. But I prefer to be able to run and jump when necessary, and to be able to rub my eyes without worrying about smudging my make-up (like when I watch movies that make me cry, which a lot of them do).

I have a lot of enthusiasm, and a lot of love. I am a kid in that sense. If I like your earrings, I will tell you. Just like kids do. If I think you're awesome, I will tell you. Why wouldn't I? Of course, I am known to sometimes be a little bit too blunt with my opinions of things, but I won't lie just for the sake of being polite. I am more of the belief that if you have nothing nice to say it's better not to say anything at all, but sometimes I have to vent. And sometimes I let a remark out before thinking about what I'm saying.

I love birthdays and parties. I look forward to my birthday every year, and I always try to throw a party which nearly nobody comes to, because most people are too busy being responsible adults (a.ka. boring). Quite a few of my peers either don't really celebrate their birthday, or even don't tell others when their birthday is. How silly! Why pass up on the opportunity to celebrate, receive presents and eat cake? Honestly! My birthday is next month and you bet I will be throwing a party, nomatter if people come or not. Cocktails will be drunk! And so will some people, possibly. Probably not me, as I have never been drunk and don't drink much alcohol. I just like the fanciness of cocktails, but I don't particularly care if there's alcohol in them, as long as they look good and taste yummy.
I have always been a bit child-like in my tastes, too. I only started drinking coffee at 21 and alcohol around 27, but I still don't drink beer or wine.

Anyway, I don't feel like a woman. I just feel like a very mature girl and I hope I will always feel that way. So just call me 'girl' when you refer to me, at least for now. 

Storage Sunday

This makes me happy.

An organised house

Here's something I've learned: children, teenagers, some women and a lot of  grown men do not notice mess. They tend to create it, and then walk away oblivious to the fact that the space they have left behind is no longer comfortably useable by others.

But, here's something else I've learned: they don't notice if you've not vacuumed, mopped, cleaned the oven, scrubbed the kitchen bench or cleaned the shower either. So from this day forward: only do those type of chores for yourself, or if your mother in law is coming over. She will notice.

Sharing a house with other people can be challenging when one likes organised living and dislikes mess. Especially if those other people are children, teenagers, certain women or grown men. Training your housemates to do as you want them takes effort and persistence and sometimes stealth. I speak from experience when I say training 3 little kids to do as you wish is much harder than training one stubborn 69 year-old. You know it's true, mum.

So, I have come up with some simple tricks I like to use. It can be a serious challenge, but persistence is key. You are, quite possibly, the captain of the ship called home and all benefit if it sails smoothly!

Start right now. Only tiny babies are unable to understand the concept of tidying up. The moment a child grasps the concept of putting something 'in' something else, they are ready for training. Honestly! Don't think their tiny cuteness is a reason for you to do all the boring chores. They are willing and able at this early age. But they need guidance, obviously.

Small kids love helping, use it to your advantage. After a play with anything, make a big affair of 'tidying up'. Lots of praise when this is done is key. Have clear locations for things, so they know where things go. You letting them do tasks like tidying up shows them you trust them to be able to do these tasks that you normally do. They get confidence out of it. Everybody wins!

Also, very importantly: teach them to put one toy away before they grab another from the toy chest/cupboard/whatever. Have a maximum amount of toys that you're willing to have out at any one time and make that clear. 

Having an organised house is key to easy tidy-up rituals. You need clear, easy locations for the things your housemates use. For kids, it's good to have baskets, boxes, cupboards with drawers and doors. Mark them with labels and have kids who don't read yet draw pictures themselves to stick on for their reference. 

Go to your local Ikea, storage place, wherever, and get lots of boxes and containers for inside cupboards and drawers. Get drawer dividers. Be over zealous, go nuts, you will always find stuff to put in that container you didn't think you needed in the store! In Australia I also suggest visiting a shop called Store, or Howard's Storage World. 

Teach kids from as young as possible to put things away before they move on to something else. Don't feed them dinner until they've tidied up their games/homework/toys. Do not allow random piles on your dining table! I know that's a hard one. I struggle with this one myself. But it's so nice to have space to always be able to sit down at it and spread out the paper/ eat/do a puzzle/fold the laundry.

Oh, speaking of laundry: that is not only your task, either. Kids can help with this. So can teenagers, women, men and even stubborn mothers. Give each bedroom  in the house a laundry basket. Set the rule that if they take it off and it's dirty, to put it into threir laundry basket, if it's not, back in the drawer.  

A friend (the same one who suggested I write this blog) recently had a complete revelation when she decided to no longer fold her kids' clothes. I suggest getting drawer boxes and just giving different items of clothes its specific box. Ikea have some awesome in-wardrobe, cupboard and and in-drawer organisers called SKUBB, like these, and these. They work all over the house, not just for clothes.

Skubb in action in my wardrobe

If you are low on cash, which I was when I was a student, use empty cardboard containers or boxes cut down to size. For example, I used to cut the ends of my cereal boxes to the same height of my drawers and put wide sticky tape on the bottom of them for my pens and paint brushes. Also, empty shoe boxes,  cotton tip containers, Ferrero Rocher containers and the like are perfect for organising craft materials, just label them so you know what's in them. 

Some cut up cereal boxes used in my studio drawers

Shoe boxes and cereal boxes used to organise my studio

More Ikea storage boxes in my studio (and those are my handmade creatures on top!)

More shoe boxes and empty other containers in my studio

When the washing is done in your house, get each person to take their washing to their room, and put it away themselves. It's easy when there's no folding and there are specific drawer boxes for their shirts, shorts, undies and whatnots. 

Of course, you can still be in charge of delicate things that need ironing or hanging, but for simple items of clothing, kids can take their own responsibility. And they should!

Do I need to mention dirty dishes do not belong in bedrooms or lounge rooms? Have kids put their dishes in the kitchen when finished eating. And try as hard as you can to have them sit at the tabe when they eat. This can be tricky, but it saves you so much vacuuming! 

One of the things that I also suggest is to give each member of household a reasonable size but nice looking basket/drawer/box in the lounge room in which you can deposit any items that they might have left lying around, and is in your way. That way, whenever you hear "Mum/Honey, where is my ..." you can always say "Did you look in your basket/drawer/box?"

An organised house is a joy to live in. It is easy to find the things you need and it's easy putting them away. I love my house, despite the fact it's been a building site in several stages of renovations for the last seven years, I've managed to keep it tidy and organised. 

 See below some photos of my house. I have not tidied anything before taking the pictures. This is how it actually looks at all times! Of course, I do not have children and have a rare species of husband who folds his clothes and puts them away before hopping into bed, something I don't even do! So I am lucky. But it's not too structured, there's a bit of mess and untidiness around, but not so much that it annoys anyone. As a tile says that used to hang in my grandmother's house: "This house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy. "

The Kitchen

It's off my bench, but right in reach

utensil drawer

spice drawer

bottom drawer

cutlery and knives

plates belong in a drawer!

The wardrobe

my shirts are organised by colour and sleeve length

The Bathroom

bathroom drawer

bathroom cabinet

The Laundry

My laundry

Rainy Day with kids

Ok, so spring may have just started here in lovely Melbourne, but I just looked at the monthly forecast and this is what I saw when it came to rainfall...


So, rain is all good and well, but if it's just endless, as it has been a bit here the last few months and apparently will be for a bit longer, I thought I'd share with you my favourite activities to do with kids when the weather is bad. There are other websites with great ideas such as this one, this one,  or this one (for small kids), some of them might be the same as mine.

I have spent many a day locked inside with rain lashing outside and bored kids inside. Sure you can chuck on the latest Disney movie and enjoy their zombie-like faces, but as I have mentioned before, I am convinced this generation of kids will spend more time in front of screens than we ever thought possible. Better to get them active and/or creative.

Here goes!

Build a fort/cubby

Favourite by far: build a fort/cubby out of couch cushions, sheets, blankets tablecloths, tables, chairs, pegs, broomsticks, elastic bands, whatever. The bigger the better! Then have a tea party/ picnic inside.
This can also be done with cardboard boxes, just make sure you buy a fridge first!

Build an obstacle course

Use furniture, toys, any items around the house into making an obstacle course as long as possible, through different rooms, let the kids think of different routes to go through it. Be creative, use chairs sideways, let kids climb over the edge of a couch, set out the route with masking tape on the floor, keep count, race, etc. Hours of fun!

Build a track for small balls

Use empty paper towel rolls, any bits of recycling, paper boxes, furniture, etc to build a track for marbles or golf ball, The fun of course is to start as high as possible and use our old friend gravity to help your balls roll as far as possible.

Build you own dolls house / multi-story car park / castle

You will need a bit of recycling for this activity, but kids will love making their own minature house, or car park, or whatever. Save empty matchboxes to glue together for a little chest of drawers or beds, etc. Here are some great sites to inspire you: Planetpal,  Kidspot, Yahoo!

A Dutch lady by the name of Karina Schaapman started making a dolls house, or as it's know a Mouse House ( here is another blog's post about it), one day out of cardboard boxes and ended up making one that is now three metres high and two metres wide and lives in the City Library of Amsterdam. I saw it a few months ago and loved it. It is entirely handmade and mostly made out of recycled household items! It is the base for her books about the mice Sam and Julia, which is soon to be published by Allen & Unwin in English here in Australia. 

Get crafty 

Of course there's hours of fun in paper, glue and scissors, tons of colours and glitters and whatever else. 

Here's some things kids could make:

1. Design your own board game
2. Make a jigsaw puzzle out of colouring pages or your own drawings by sticking them onto a piece of cardboard and drawing puzzle pieces on the back of it and then cut it up
3. Make your own pop-up book/lift the flap book 
4. Make tons of cards for birthdays/celebrations to use on later occasions
5. Design your own wrapping paper
6. Draw mazes for each other
7. The internet is FULL of colouring pages you can print out for kids to colour in, just go to Google images and search for your desired subject and add colouring page i.e. "Disney Princess Colouring Page" (or Coloring Page, which is how the Americans write it, to broaden your search results.) 

Pass-on drawings/stories

Depending on the age group of the kids,  there are two options. With young kids you can each grab a piece of paper, and start drawing the head of a character, including the neck, and then fold the paper so your drawing is hidden and only the bottom lines of the neck are visible, then the next person has to draw the torso, etc. Make sure you fold each piece so it stays hidden! Come up with a name for your character and its pet to add a few more turns, then unfold it together!

For older kids you can make silly stories by each writing a line, then folding the paper and just putting the first word or two words of the next line for the next person, and hand it around/back and forth. Once again, make sure the lines stay hidden until everyone has had a few turns and/or the paper is full. 

Get in the kitchen

Of course baking and cooking things together is endless fun. Bake some simple biscuits or cakes, then enjoy them with a cup of tea inside your cubby/fort! Here are just a few recipes you could make. 

You could also make some play dough while you're at it! Here's a recipe for it.

Get out of the kitchen - Pretend Master Chef

So, this a hit with my kids who are four and over and watch a show called Master Chef. Play pretend Master Chef with all the kitchen utensils, bowls, trays etc you are happy to let kids play with. Perhaps not real knives, eh? But safe things. 

Then set them up at their own cooking station, allocate a pretend oven, fridge, etc. and let them choose pretend ingredients for their pretend dishes, let them start pretending to prepare them, yell 'five minutes to go' or something other every now and then, then start counting down to get them to finish their dishes in a flourish of stressed plating up and presenting.

Of course they will have to present their dishes to the judges and tell them what they've created (you, and some of the other kids, they will love taking turns on judging each other's recipes) and select a winner. I have played this for hours in the last few years!

Of course you can re-enact a lot of tv games as long as you're happy to use your imagination!

Invent a play / Act out your favourite book

Bring out the dress-up box and let your imagination go crazy! 

Re-organise a cupboard or wardrobe

Ok, so it might not seem like fun, but with a favourite dinner for a reward or an outing somewhere fun,  you can make it fun. Choose a cupboard everyone uses, or a kids wardrobe and sort it out with things you love (easy access), things you use every now and then, and things that can go. Get three shopping baskets or washing baskets and place everything in a 'keep' 'maybe' 'go' baskets. You will all feel good when it's done.

Of course there is no end to the fun to be found on the internet, so google away and enjoy yourselves! 

Would you like a pocket for that?

So, here's a confessions: I love organising. I have written about this before in my old blog, but it is just something I am quite obsessive about. If there is one thing that totally messes me up it's clutter and untidiness. Also dirt bothers me, and smudges and caked-on goo. Family, friends and families I have worked for will tell you I cannot let messy things be messy. Especially cupboards. 

My first ever self-designed and handmade bag

And if you work with children, who are the opposite of organised, it helps to be organised. Take, for example,  my handbag. It is a product of this very passion for organising. I used to buy bags, preferably with lots of pockets. But my problem was that there were never enough pockets, they were not the right size, and never in the right place. And on the off chance I would find a bag that would have quite practical pockets, those bags would be boring and/or ugly. And I am neither of those things. So, out of frustration, I designed and created my own handbag. One that was not only nice looking, but also had 21 pockets. All in the right place for my particular things. 

Current Bag

26 Pockets

Since then, I have made a few more bags, in particular I have made some nappy bags, because I always found flaws with those when out and about with babies as well.  My latest handbag design has 26 pockets, teo pen holders, two key hooks and of course, a stylish design. I am quite pleased with the bags I've come up with so far. So much so that I am pondering if I should start selling them.  Of course I have nothing on my favourite luggage designer Tom Bihn and his super practical designs, but we're not in competition. 

Interior, with cool compartment

Folds open into nanny change station

First attempt Nappy Bag

I carry a lot of practical things around. All in their own pockets. In this department there is also someone who totally trumps me here, my best friend Phiroze, but he and I are not in competition either. He overrules me when it comes to awesome lifestyles and practicality, but I kick his butt when it comes to being practical in a stylish way. We're both total geeks, only I hide it better. He carries his stuff around in a pouch on his tummy, where as my stuff is all organised in my bag. If you saw us together, you would not say we are basically the same person. But we are. He is my male BFF on the other side of the planet. But adventures are global so we're ok.  I miss him though.

So, my handbag is the pinnacle of my organised life. Also the pride, I would say. One of my favourite things I like to hear is 'I like your bag!' but also 'I like your blog!' I also have a super organised kitchen. Oh, how I love my kitchen, and how hard I find it to cook in other people's kitchens. My car is also organised, the boot has a fold-out organising compartment in it. And then there is my wardrobe. My tops are stacked by color and sleeve-length. Yes. I know.  I fold socks and undies. Forgive me. Here's the ultimate proof I have no children: I iron my bed sheets and fold them into perfect rectangles. Yes, the fitted mattress covers too. 

My favourite feature of our house: my architecturally designed laundry chute from the bathroom into the laundry. No dirty laundry on my bathroom floor, no sir-ee!  I know, fancy, right? And architecturally designed too. By that, I actually am saying that my husband designed and built it, because he is an architect. And a wonderful man, too, which is lucky.

My husband and I have actually designed and built pretty much all the storage spaces in our house,  he did most of the building and I did most of the telling what I needed. 

A big part of my organised life has also been helped very much by my wonderful Apple products, my iFamily; baby iPhone, teenager iPad and dad MacBook Air. And no, I am not endorsed by Apple. Nobody is. Apple doesn't need to pay people to promote their products in their blogs, because people just rave about them regardless.  I have a perfectly synced life, my notes, my addresses, my photos, are on all my devices all the time. I love that. I'm never looking for anything for very long.

I don't just limit my organising urges to my own life. I like to spread the love and organise other people's houses, bags, lives. Families I've worked for have on occasion come home to a fully organised cupboard or two, and none of them have ever complained. 

When I visit my mother's house, I always get into all her kitchen cupboards and clean them out and re-organise them. She still loves the fact that I've moved all her plastic containers from a high cupboard into a low drawer for easy access. I generally don't limit my organising to her kitchen, actually.

I can't stand clutter, it makes me feel anxious and unsettled. Sorting through things, organising them, throwing things out, it all makes me feel calm and clear. I am a bog fan of labels, too. I enjoy going to storage stores and buying boxes and storage solutions. When all is sorted and cleared, I get a lovely feeling on accomplishment and satisfaction. 

So...you got any rooms/bags/lives that need organising? I am for hire!

Example of an awesome Dad

Just read this article about an amazing Dad.

Fathers

It's father's day here in Australia, so let me take this opportunity to celebrate every Dad I know, especially new ones: your job is so important. For me, father's day is never an easy day, and unfortunately, I end up having to be confronted with this day twice a year since it is in June in the Netherlands and I am nearly always there at that time because it's also my mother's birthday in June. If you are in the mood for a cheerful story, you might want to skip this post. But in my life, there is a distinction between a father and a dad. I have a father, but I never had a dad. My father has last year told my sister and I that he doesn't care for us anymore, he doesn't want to know us and that we are a disappointment to him, a dad would never do such a thing.

A Dad to me is a man you adored as a child, who lifted you up, who held you the strongest, who let you dance on his toes, who hopefully managed to teach you right from wrong, who tried to keep you on the straight and narrow when you were a teen, disapproved of your boyfriends and taught you about driving cars, how to build stuff, why you should save money and is the only man in your life that will love you forever and unconditionally. Not everybody has one of those.

A father is the man whose DNA you share. Everybody has one.

Here is a horrible truth: Sometimes when I catch my reflection in a mirror, I see my father's features and I feel disgust and pain. I don't want to hate my father, I don't think I actually hate him. But when I think of him there is nothing happy I can feel. I am thankful I was created. But there is so much hurt there, that sometimes I get very angry. I know he cannot help being who he is, and he has had a youth that lead to why he is how he is. But it is not right to blame your children for things that happened when they were small and had absolutely no power over.

Thankfully, I know many lovely dads, and very few fathers choose to hurt their children. I have enormous respect for men who take responsibility for their children, who do their utmost to raise them to be happy, confident people. I especially respect dads who have raised daughters to be women who are confident within themselves and have healthy relationships with men.

I have a wonderful father-in-law now, and a lovely husband. I call my father-in-law Superdad. He is the man I call if I have car trouble and my husband is unavailable. He is the man who supports us and we can trust with advice on important decisions. He is not the man I call to talk to about my feelings, though, as it seems the men in my husband's family are not able to do that. But I have my amazing friend Phiroze who is the only man in the world I can talk to about the same things I would talk to my girlfriends. He and I can stay up until 4 am talking, and I absolutely treasure that.

I can get very emotional when I see girls who have lovely days. Dads who look out for them, dads who take care of them, goofy dads who make terrible jokes but in their heart of hearts want nothing but the best for their little girls. Growing up as a teenager and young adult I kept wanting my boyfriends to be like a dad, protective, caring, strong. Silly things to expect from teenage boys or young men, I know now.

It takes life experience to be a dad, and a strong man to know what to teach your children. It's not easy being a man, I know that. It's not easy being a woman, either. Being an adult comes with so many responsibilities and so much is expected of you. I find it challenging. I try to teach the kids I look after the things in life that I feel are important, and one of those things is love the people who care for you, and express that love.

That's the one thing I can say about growing up without a dad, is that I wish the people who did grow up with one, and the dads I see and know, to tell their kids/dads that they love them and to talk about your feelings with each other. It's easy for women to tell people they love them, but for men, it seems to be hard. I often hear the mother I work for express in many ways that they love their kids, with words as well as actions. But I know many people who say that they wished their dads had said they loved them more often. And that they wish they had told their dads they love them too.

I am convinced that boys who are raised by fathers who teach them that it's good to express yourself with words, that it's ok to feel hurt and cry, and to always communicate with the people around them (personal as well as at work), that they become better boyfriends, husbands, bosses and fathers than boys who are raised to 'suck it up and be a man'. Life can be painful, there is no shame in showing that you experience pain. It is not manly to keep it inside. It is silly! Same with joy. If you're happy, let people know. And if you feel love, shout it out. It is always nice to hear!

So if you are a dad, or if you have one, tell them honestly, while looking each other in the eye, that you love him/them. I envy you, I wish I could do the same.